went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
