More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
