Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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