Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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