I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she pinky promised me she was 18
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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