Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
