It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
