Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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