I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
