Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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