Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
