Your tits are I can't wait for
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
