why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
