ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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