im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
