It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
