I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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