this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize