I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
