well you can't waste a boner
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
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I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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