Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
