a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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