Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
