so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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