Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
