it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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