I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize