she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
