Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize