Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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