I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
