i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
