Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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