I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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