Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize