Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
