Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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