Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
