And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
