yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
