you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
