Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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