Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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