U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
