You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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