Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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