you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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