I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
