You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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