if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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