at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
