There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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