Will you blow on my dice?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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