Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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