Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
