Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
