What did we do last night that was yellow?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
